it’s not the years, honey- its the mileage

I looked in the mirror this morning on my first day as a 33 year old. 33?!? How in the world did this happen?? The gray hairs seem to stick out a little more and everything aches. Okay, honestly, I don’t really feel any older today than I did yesterday or last year. Half the time I still see the awkward 12 year old with red glasses in the mirror… But there are definitely gray hairs now that I didn’t have back then! Birthdays are a good time to reflect and I wanted to share an update on what I’ve been up to lately. In addition to another year of life, I’ve celebrated several big milestones.

my family came to visit! We went to Nakuru Game Park for a day safari

Laura celebrated her 30th birthday during their visit

made it through the gates of hell & back!

their visit went by too fast!

I’m at the halfway point of my year at RVA. At the end of last school term, I was feeling discouraged and down. The emotional and spiritual struggles I saw students dealing with seemed contagious, and I really believe Satan was using my feelings of inadequacy & perfectionist tendencies to make me ineffective in ministry. This term I’ve felt more settled in my role and more at home in Kijabe. Not that I’m suddenly SuperMissionary or don’t have down days, but God has given me grace in reminding me that I don’t have to do all or be all. I love the students here and love that I can share in their lives, whether taking care of their health needs, mentoring, encouraging, or cheering them on at concerts and sporting events. I’m so excited for the last half of my term! I hope to go through the next few months focused on God; loving and serving the kids through his strength instead of my own.

we watched this lioness hunt a family of giraffes- thankfully she didn’t catch them!

with friends at my surprise birthday party

celebrating my birthday with Moses

Another momentous occasion was my 5 year anniversary of becoming a nurse practitioner. This meant I was due to renew my license. A chronic procrastinator, I hadn’t done many of the 150 hours of continuing education required ahead of time. God bless the internet, because I was able to get half of the hours done online! I was also able to contact the students I’ve precepted and get proof of the hours they worked with me to fulfill the remainder of the requirement. Thankfully, all the paperwork was processed in time before my license expired. How cool is it that I can do all that from Kenya?! Despite the stress and crazy days when I just want to give up, I am so thankful for the privilege I have as a nurse and nurse practitioner. I love the problem solving and critical thinking necessary in my profession. I love the unbelievable stories I get to tell! 🙂 I am so blessed to be able to help people in their time of physical need.

anniversary/birthday dinner at Mama Chikus- the site of our first date & pretty much the only place to go in Kijabe!

birthday flowers & sunshine

This month also marked my one year anniversary dating an amazing man. In the past, I wanted to have my life all planned out. I had big dreams of serving God as a missionary nurse, traveling the world and having an important career. To prevent disappointment, I pretty much convinced myself that I’d be single forever. I figured it was easier to believe something would never happen than to get my hopes up and have them be unfulfilled. But that perspective was just as wrong as thinking that I needed to have a relationship or be married to be complete. With limited dating experience, learning how to be in a serious relationship has been a wonderful challenge. Nate has patiently taught me how to be vulnerable, to trust and to give up control. It is sometimes difficult to believe, but he accepts me for the goofy, nerdy woman I am- even in sweatpants and no makeup! I suppose it shouldn’t be a surprise that it has been a reflection of my relationship with God. I’m constantly reminded God loves me for who I am- imperfections, failures and all. As wonderful as Nate is, he’s human- he’s not perfect either. But God is, and I can trust him for my relationships, my career and my future.

before we got dirty, sweaty & sore biking

sunny & hot birthday biking with the zebras at Hells Gate National Park

Thanks for listening to my sentimental ramblings! I believe God has great plans & I’m excited about the coming year and more happy adventures in following Jesus.

~Sarah

kijabe sunset

waiting with joy?

A big, shiny gold sign hangs on my wall that says JOY. It was there when I arrived in Kenya nearly 6 months ago. Sometimes I glance at it peacefully and contemplatively, thanking God for the many blessings he’s given me. Often I barely notice it’s presence, even though it’s next to my front door, at eye level, in one foot tall letters.

dinner date with Janelle, one of the students at RVA that brightens my days

Not only can it get cold in Africa, but there’s also a Cold Stone! and yes, ice cream is a great source of joy in my life 😉

I’ve heard plenty in the past about joy- it isn’t purely happiness, it shouldn’t be related to my circumstances, it isn’t just an emotion but a long-term lifestyle. Or the old Sunday school definition of JOY= Jesus, Others, You; reminding me that only when I love God and others more than myself can I have true joy.

 

 

I wake up plenty of days with what I think is joy- earlier this week I had one of them. I decided to write this post about joy after a good Monday at work, dinner with friends, a fun workout with Nate, excited about my family coming to visit in a few days…

And then I woke up the next morning. I felt like crap. I decided NOT to do laundry on what seemed like the only time I’ve seen the sun in years. There’s a hole in my favorite elephant print pants. EVERYTHING and EVERYONE was driving me crazy. Nothing seemed joyful, even a walk with Mondu on a sunny day off work. My first inclination was to complain, whine and grumble. I really just wanted to let out all my frustration on a punching bag. Have you ever had one of those days?

Nate’s dog Mondu, my running buddy

Maybe it’s just me…

rugby, the source of joy for many students, and the source of most of my business at student health this term

I really wanted this blog to be about waiting patiently and with joy- how to live in the moment and be grateful for God’s blessings. How to trust God and be content with where I am and not worry about the future.

Of course, for me that can seem like an impossible challenge. I tend to have fits of anxiety about what will happen 5 days, 5 months or 5 years from now. In my desire to have control, I want to have everything planned out. God has a great sense of humor and gave me a very patient, understanding boyfriend who does not share my innate (& insane) need to plan ahead. While I panic about jobs, money, God’s will, and what to cook for dinner next week; Nate rolls with the ups and downs of life much more easily.

7th grade joy

Learning to wait patiently and live with joy when things don’t happen on my timeline or exactly how I plan is always a struggle. Looking back through my journal, I found an entry from January on this issue.

I will focus on enjoying God. Refuse to obsess about my problems & how I’m going to fix them. I will trust God, wait hopefully in his presence and watch to see what he will do.

We can have JOY, full & complete JOY, by knowing God’s love.

Just a few days later, I jotted down another note about waiting…

Do I want to wait on the Lord, or find my own way? I should rely on God instead of trying to control the situation-

“Surrender yourself to the Lord and wait patiently for him.” ~Psalm 37:7

It all comes full circle. In one of my finer moments this week I grossly underestimated the cost of my groceries at the market. Sarah, the sweetheart owner, just put the extra cost on my tab. When I went down later to pay the difference, I ran into a group of really amazing students. “Miss Coleman, I just love that you and Mr. Edwards play soccer and have so much fun together- it brings me so much joy!” one of the girls exclaimed. Not realizing the irony, I replied I was glad my joy could bring her joy too. Bam.

THAT’S what I need to remember. Joy is sharing life with others. Taking time to just have fun and not stress. Laughing with Nate at my complete inability to juggle a soccer ball. Joking. Dancing. Encouraging. Helping each other when we’re sick or down or lost or just having a crappy day. Waiting patiently instead of neurotically trying to plan and control every detail of my unpredictable life.

8th grade girls from Kijabe Primary school, where we did an outreach day earlier this term

camping trip to Lake Naivasha

I suppose I might never fully master the realities of happiness vs joy, patience vs panic. As we’ve well established, I’m not perfect. God’s perfect timing in the midst of my bad day is a friendly reminder of the fact.

But, I’m trying to get over it and trust God. I’m not perfect, but a work in progress, and that should bring me true joy.

 

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. ~Romans 15:13

~Sarah

take a deep breath… and a leap of faith

The big day is finally here. I’m leaving for Kenya today! So begins my next adventure. Feeling excited, scared, courageous, overwhelmed, motivated, inspired, anxious, antsy, calm, confident, nervous. Despite alternating between butterflies and bravery, I know I don’t need to be afraid of the unknown. The 3 1/2 months that lie ahead are sure to contain some really amazing and really challenging moments. Part of the adventure is the uncertainty of what is to come. I am not in control of everything that will happen, in Kenya or at home in Cincinnati, which is a little tough for me to accept! I already realize that trusting God for my future and giving up control is a lesson I need to learn. It’s hard to admit, but I’m not superwoman. I can’t handle everything on my own. I’m not perfect. I will make mistakes. But I can face anything with God. In the times when I’m fearful and doubting, I’m focusing on God’s promises to me. God tells us to trust him and to not be afraid. He is in control and His plan for all of us is perfect.

 

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because GOD, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down, he won’t leave you. Deuteronomy 31:6

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

When I am afraid I will put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me? Psalms 56:3-4

I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

I fly out at 545pm today, and have a 2 day layover in Paris before arriving in Nairobi on Easter Sunday. Please pray for my last few frantic minutes of packing. Pray for safety as I travel through Paris to Nairobi over the next few days. Pray God will give me his peace and strength.

Adios, Sayonara, Kwaheri and Goodbye! Let’s GO!!!

Sarah